i feel like im doing the pre-walk of shame..like every car that drives by is like, ooooo look at that girl, in that itty bitty dress, yep shes about to get her skank on tonight...
"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
it was like weight watchers had a halloween party.
when i asked what day 420 fell on this year, she answered so quickly i knew i found my soulmate.
I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
haha the sad thing is i can't decide whats worse. the fact that you're drunk judging a science fair or the fact that i'm really proud of you for it.
I can't see straight with both eyes and ive only been at the bar for an hour. Someone else typed this for me.
Apparently the cops have a video of me singing bob seger "Night moves".
i think smoking weed in a ladies bathroom on the beach with two dudes might be the shadiest thing ive done in a while
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
Sex obviously provides more sustenance than oatmeal.
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
It's 5am and I have yet to fall asleep. At what point do we just accept that I run on vodka?
I'm too over dressed and drunk for this emergency vets office
I rocked his world in the back of my car in an overly-lit, heavily trafficked parking lot. Middle age is amazing!
Randomize
