the whole city is out of plan b pills. this is the meanest game of musical chairs ever.
his pokemon pajamas? the fact that he was proud of the stretchmarks on his arms? or finding out he has a daughter that went to high school with us? ...you tell me what was the dealbreaker
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
She told me she wanted to wax my ass. I'm terrified and oddly aroused.
There were slices of bread pasted to the wall with peanut butter this morning. I don't want to know
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
Why did I just get a ziplock baggie labeled "2010" on it from you in the mail?
I saw Nicolas Cage's face in the moon. Those were good shrooms.
We play this game where we catch up on what we missed over five years of not talking to eachother, then we have sex like nothing ever happened.
I'm not sure what step "make amends" is, but my phone is on
You know I'm dangerous when I have make-out withdrawals
You asked me what the point was. Told me your were dying alone and then had me take you and Wendy's where you bought 3 meals and ate them in about 10 minutes saying you didn't care if you got fat...
I'm a bit broke right now... Would it be OK if I pay you in champagne and Xanax?
Sorry this is taking so long. I'm looking for my dignity.
I just realized that this is the first time I've ever seen your mom without sucking your cock.
Randomize
