my elementary bus driver served me drinks last night. He hooked me up
If I sit on the seam of my jeans just the right way when the bass hits, this might be my new favorite band.
after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
just convinced someone I was a virgin. I love when people don't know me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah.. he went to Tebow in the middle of the crosswalk and got hit by a cab... The yellow ones really don't stop
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
So if I tell her fire is hot and it will burn her... she's probably just going to keep throwing her vagina at it huh?
The people at subway are so judgy when you stop to get a sandwhich on your walk of shame
It's been two dates and she just invited me to her aunts funeral. I can't even. Who the fuck does that? I need to drink I'm coming to get you in 5
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wasn't going to just ask my parents for a damn vibrator for christmas
LET ME HAVE MY JUDGMENT OF OTHER PEOPLE
He drunk texted me what I think is two snails fucking on a mushroom. Is "you sick bastard" too mild a rejection?
NO BABIES. YOUR VAGINA WILL BLEED WITHIN A FORTNIGHT.
That's when I realized I was probably naked in the wrong bed
I got paid to fuck my boss for lunch. My job is better than yours.
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