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my phone needs a breathalizer
You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
Alright. I will breast feed the first person to get here.
You leave me no choice. Your vagina is grounded. It can just sit there and think about what it's done.
Due to the events of st patties day last year I created a moral and ethical policy so that I won't get kicked out of the bar again. It mostly consists of not wearing pants so then I don't take them off at the bar.. and subsequently get kicked out.
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
yep you were here saturday. if you woke up smelling like vanilla i can explain.
She asked if i could guess "what shape her carpet was". I got it wrong (christmas tree).
Her car is covered in frozen vomit, and she lost her iPhone. I'm also pretty sure I smoked crack last night. Rest in peace 2014.
Man I sound like a slutty Mormon
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
A condom just fell out of me. Happy Tuesday.
Randomize
