Sooo sorry about that. And crying. And comparing my life to a duck
If I die tonight. Just know that chicken I made fuckin ruled. Recipe: Chicken with a shitload oF spice
He just came into the room wearing nothing but a Speed Racer helmet. I think he just invented a fetish.
Turns out lunch break sex with someone you cant stand being around for any amount of time just makes you wish you had gone to get tacos like you originally planed.
Was in the middle of a keg stand, the frat guys dropped me, and I broke my nose. My mom didn't enjoy that call from the hospital.
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
After we had sex he made me watch a Top Gun highlight video...
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
There's a naked man in my car right now.
like i literally can feel my uterus getting frustrated at me for not being pregnant.
I'm just opting for alcohol abuse, ramen and cuddling with my dog for now.
my confident boosted when he told me that it was I who started making out with him. ME. NOT HIM.
I AM SHOCKED AND PROUD OF MYSELF
Also you can't just sext a Michelle quote from Full House.
Ugh. It's days like these that make me wish my bad habits would kill me faster
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