Somehow I feel more guilty using her razor then I do having sex with her boyfriend...
He was banging holes in the kitchen wall with pots. They tried to pull him away but only managed to pants him. He kept "drumming".
I found his backpack for the weekend. All it had was ping pong balls, mardi gras beads, and Tums.
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
There's some drunk girl alone in the field, she looks like she could use some help.
Also it's only fair that you know that that girl is me.
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
Mainly I just wanna pet bunnies. And purple chicks. Well any color chicks if I close my eyes. But purple if I open them.
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
New vibrator arrived today.
How was it?
Who are these wee mortals we call men?
he drank half a bottle of bushmills, stood up to pee over the side, pissed his pants, sat in the puddle on the deck, told me my life goals were stupid and impossible, and wouldn't leave until 5am. by the time I got up at 8 I had 4 texts and 2 fb messages from him. AND HE STILL THINKS IT WENT WELL
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
Just packed vodka and spare underwear into my purse- totally set for watching the hockey with him tonight
There's just something classy about smoking a blunt in a prom dress.
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