Everything went well, until I walked into his bedroom and there was a Ronald Reagan poster watching over his bed - creepy
proudest moment: just made a guy walk into a parked car with his mouth hanging open cause of the shirt im wearing.
guess you're going to miss out on a groin massage and a frosty vagina
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
Doing "bucket stands" with buckets of margarita. Don't tell me it's not a good idea.
You stuck your entire fist into a full jar of peanut butter and starting assaulting people
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
I just gagged from thinking about the amount of tequila we will be drinking. DRUNK TUESDAYS
I shouldn't be drunk at 3 pm but alas, here we are...
He went to 7/11 first and came back with condoms and a banana "in case we get hungry"
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
I think I'm still high. And I definitely still smell like lobster, so there's that
all of these bad things happened because I didn't bring a shower beer.
What, so now you are his nutritionist and his fuck buddy?
Randomize
