I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
there is a school bus full of santas parked in front of the liquor store
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
He gave me an elaborately handwritten invite (on a bar coaster) back to his place and whispered in my ear 'i have ping pong'. And he said byob. fuck THAT.
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
'Well you know, stuff happens' isn't really an excuse for sticking a cheeto in my ear
Looks like breakfast in bed is out the window. She can't get up because I "fucked her into paralysis." My stomach is not happy with my dick right now
I found him on the floor in the kitchen eating cheese and tomato. I mean a block of cheese and whole tomatoes, he was alternating. Thats why your cheese has teeth marks.
Oh I was gonna ask you the same thing...? It's official ask anyone to see your husbands dick day.
I just overheard an "I'm going to get your dick so hard" conversation at Costco.
hey at least you are getting hit on, i spent all day researching cat sedatives
Can finally say I won't be lonely this Valentine's day! Mother nature decided to drop by.
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
Are you drinking tequila at 1pm? ...at Disneyland?
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