I cant remeber how long i've been laying here...it could be 10 minutes to a fucking day
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
Would you like to blur the lines between friendship and lesbianism tonight?
you asked the janitor if you could ride his floor cleaner.
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
What made this night legendary was getting pulled over for looking suspicious while wearing an iron man mask
I just climbed out the passenger side of my car because there was a spider on mine. I'm doing adulthood right
The other day I was really high and I felt like my words were coming out of my mouth in flowers...I don't know.
I was going through my settings and the phone randomly started playing "Crazy Little Thing Called Love" by Dwight Yoakum. Out loud. At full volume. I was shitting. There were 3 other people in the bathroom. I love iOS 7.
It's 4 am here and I just vomited myself awake....Not rising OR shining any time soon
If there aren't any tits where you are, you're doing it wrong.
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
And to be clear I have only watched porn like 3 times at work
Randomize
