we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
Don't text me when you know I'm doing lines on my phone
He's trying to row the canoe up my front yard like he is Lewis and Clark.
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
If I drank a glass of water for every drink I had I'd die of water intoxication like some tweaked out looser at a rave
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
The only people in the library at 5:00 on the friday after finals are homeless or pre-med.
Also, do you think i could get away with finishing my vodka cranberry from last night at work if i put orange juice in it? Serious question.
Hey, I think I showed you a picture of my nephew while we were fucking last night. Sorry, I know it's weird, I just really love that kid. Again, sorry.
I should be rewarded with oreos for not turning into a raging cunt.
What am I even going to do with 20 more jello shots? And don't say give them to the cat
I keep finding Kraft singles in his pockets. Honestly, this is the weirdest family I've ever worked for.
my roommate woke me up with head. more awkward than it sounds.