so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
I would rather wake up to a truck driver than wake up to her
I threw up red last night... I wanted to pinch myself because it wasn't green.
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
Using that mug my little cousin painted for me as an ashtray for my weed...at least next time he asks me if I'm using it I can say yes
It's either my own vomit or popcorn butter in my ear right now. Banking on the second one.
We made popcorn last night. So it's both
Have the decency to NOT HANG YOU'RE USED CONDOM ON THE FOOSEBALL HANDLES! Dickhead.
I've learned life lessons in Vegas. Mostly, drugs are cheaper than alcohol.
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
You know just a typical night. Eating peanut butter off of tablespoons and having sex to our favorite Christmas carols. This is my favorite time of year.
I've decided that it's a bad thing. But I've also decided that I don't give a fuck.
Dude. She was wearing nothing but Wonder Woman panties and a flag for a cape and sneaking around leaving PBR's by passed out people for the morning. She called herself the 'Merica Fairy.
Why haven't you proposed already?
Do you know how awkward it is to get a dick pic while working at babies r us?
Who died my cat blue again?
Unless it involves a lot of whiskey, an ACDC concert, and a guy named Juan from the Philippines, then I'm not interested.