A homeless man in dtwn SF was blasting lil wayne and singing at the top of his lungs. I kinda wanted to give him my life savings
Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
turns out the guy i was dating because he was a cop was not actually a cop. i learned this as he got arrested by real cops.
low key just jizzed in a chinese food container
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
Playing hide and seek with all those cheeseburgers... Not our finest moment.
Okay. I really need to get out of this guys bed and get home. It's two in the afternoon. He's not even HERE.
All i remember was you crying naked on the bathroom floor because you were cold. I got you a blanket and you kept kicking it off and crying because you were still cold.
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
I'll check it out in the morning. Tonight has been reserved for getting baked and covering myself in kittens because THAT IS AN OPTION.
You know you come from good stock when you can have a family discussion about excuses to scam pain pills from the doctors
You brought a jar of mayonnaise to bed. It doesn't get any worse than that.
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
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