she pooed on me. she actually pooed on me.
How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
They found a chair, duct taped me to it, then gave me a bottle of vodka to 'make me feel at home'
Evidently I told a girl she should leave the bar because no one wanted to fuck her.
Judge me...This apron fits PERFECTLY when I have no clothes on
Who said I was judging? More like congratulating.
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
Well the other day she asked me how often I jerk off. So I guess things are getting semi-serious
His baby mama found the pictures of us, she couldn't see my face but she could see my asshole. So I'm safe.
so in addition to the two guys I slept with last night, and the third that I turned down this morning, a fourth has appeared. best Valentine's Day ever.
I refuse to believe you if you're trying to tell me humanity as a whole isn't sad, tired, and craving Chinese food.
You tried to lick the lightbulb and fell off of the chair onto my wife and gave her a concussion. Did i mention you were naked?
Randomize
