can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
Took her home last night and it was like trying to put an oyster in a slot machine. I may have drank a little too much.
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
just threw all of the fireworks into the bonfire. thats why there are firetrucks.
I just want you to know if you wake up tomorrow morning and wreak of mustard, I was not involved.
No. Do you know how much this carpet cost? If she comes over, you put down towels this time. i'm so not kidding.
I'm legit concerned I might pass out this weekend from having too much sex.
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
You're such an expert partier. I feel like 22-year-old recent graduates should have to intern with you.
I'm a pro at the other 9-5
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
No like you've drunkenly persistently tried to take your shirt off in the middle of a park filled with children. You had already thrown your bra at my crotch.
I'm going to get old and fat one day... probably pretty soon and I'm not going to have any pictures to show to my cats of what I once looked like.
I woke up an hour ago with orange fingers and a condom stuck to my head.. Wtf just happened?
I talked to his mom for a good 10 minutes with coke all over my nose. Not the best first impression
I just made myself 3 peanut butter sammies because I was too hungry to watch porn
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