plz talk dirty to me
I'm at a bar that has girls so awful looking even you would not have sex with them.
Well... I doubt that.
To bright to open both eye. Get pizza and put in feeding tube so i can sleep more
yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
The inside of my nose has felt like the guy's face falling off from raiders of the lost ark all week
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
I cried at the bar for 30 minutes because I got my arm stuck in my sweater. I got free drinks for the rest of the night after the bartender helped me.
He just snapchatted me a blank snap that said "miss our sex" Vagina game too strong
"Being an adult" and "being happy" are two circles that do not overlap in my Venn diagram of life.
Yeah but the jokes on her right? We just got a new couch and hers still has a cum stain on it from like six months ago
I walked in..crop dusted the whole place then asked her if she wanted to go to a place that smells better.
You were always a thinker
I just remembered that I insisted everyone watch porn together last night.
I'm drunkenly throwing popcorn at a spider, fuck him. Why does his scary 8 legs get to be happy?
Just realized that I indirectly pay for sex through my cable bill
Wow. He is an expensive lay
I still have to figure out the cost per lay. It could be a financially sound investment
Randomize
