that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
i bought a pregnancy test with dimes. Is that trashy?
i found the one person in the world who takes longer to cum than i do... mutual dissatisfaction is probably not the best foundation for a relationship.
At least drunk you showered before switching sex partners last night.
she wrote "need hug!" on a sticky note, put it on her back, and passed out on his bed. they're trying to figure out how she got into his room...
More importantly, he hasn't caught an STD yet. I mean I'd say it's luck, but at this point it has to be skill.
im drinking italian dressing and watching dexter. its 230am. lets never drink on sundays again.
Omg he's telling my parents stories about him doing jaagerbombs ... Lord help me
I had a dream about masturbating with toys I can't afford.
My sex life and finances are equally in shambles.
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
I seriously just caught my Pina colada from falling of a table perfectly facing up. I will now reward myself by finishing this one and then getting my 8th
WHY DOES HE HAVE TO CALL WHEN I'M MASTURBATING?! This time I'm really pissed. It's like he knows he's depriving me of orgasms.
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
Its that time in the evening when I've had a few cocktails and wish you'd make a video about the packers and Jack Daniels.
Randomize
