Dude, no joke... I lost my wedding ring in some skank last night
I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
she must've caught on when i went out for a "run" in jeans and a sweatshirt and came back holding a McDonalds bag and smelling like pot.
So I'm pretty sure I fucked the dept of homeland security guy on my kitchen table. No recollection of it, but there are signs.
Their wedding is on my 21st birthday. I fail to see a way that this could end poorly.
maybe next time you'll take an ex boyfriend warning you that she's batshit crazy as a warning instead of a challenge
Making jello shots drunk, i apologize ahead of time if they are too strong Can't taste anything.
I think my vagina is going to steal my keys and drive over there.
Hopefully she would park on my face.
Maybe I'm nitpicking, but that looked more like how one would jerk off an elephant than it did playing air guitar.
Her hotness level dropped from an 8 to a 2 as soon as I walked into her place. It REEKED of cat piss and there was no litter box and NO CATS.
In 18 months of being married we've had sex with 7 different couples. Who said you can't have your cake and eat it.
I think putting on real pants was half my issue with today
I just got woken up by that guy wearing a Krispy Kreme hat giving out donuts
Randomize
