Kiss
Puke
soo according to the calendar on my phone, I'm 5 minutes late to have sex with that guy from work. Apparently we planned this, I even set an alarm.
i dont know you, but i just did a line with your business card.
I was looking at some smoking pipes on amazon the other day and realized that work people could look at my history and do a drug test. So I immediately started looking at Sherlock Holmes hats.
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
He was taking the caps off the vodka bottles and throwing them out the window so we'd have to finish them. Engineers have the best logic.
You love him. Dinosaurs. Math. Sex.
Besides the flaccid incident, it was decent. Average sized. So this is my life now. Loneliness and lackluster sex.
Withdrawals are gods way of saying "you're still my bitch"
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
I just got the most majestic image of a potato sack full of dildos getting whipped at your head in slow motion.
I'm to the point of desperation where I stare at customers penis imprints through their pants all day
He literally had a Trump sign in his front yard. I just can't now.
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
I couldn’t resist. He had a camouflage condom. You know I love a man in a uniform
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