She came to work with 6 additional layers of make-up, playing every Nickelback song about explicit teen sex, and with a dozen twinkies she bet she could finish without chewing any. I'm investing in a rape whistle.
holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
No, I'm only going to drink half my paycheck. That's the responsible thing to do.
we need to stop having unprotected sex.
ya i know. we're like the secret life of the american whores.
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
Well, I just watched him puke into his pitcher at the bar, I doubt he cares about anything other than the fact that he needs a new beer.
Congratulations!! You are the WINNER of a brand new BLOWJOB!! You can collect your prize between the hours of 12pm and 1pm today, anywhere you'd like!!! :)
Blow job bear ended up in my bed last night. She didn't live up to her costume.
Just warning you now f you do not get intoxicated with me in front of the family on thanksgiving we are not related.
last karaoke night = doing dmx songs with a guy who threatened to stab me. so yeah I'm coming out.
There must be a happy medium universe where you get it on with my girlfriend enough to cause me pain but not a full on cardiac arrest. It's a fine line to tread though.
Taylor Swift needs more songs about threesomes. I'm not sure she gets me anymore.
For reals. He's my age and he still hangs out at his frat house & gets hammered every weekend. Idk if I'm jealous of him or if I pity him
Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??
I fucked a marine... I told him it was like personal revenge and he said he could live with that and that he didn't mind being used.
Randomize
