all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
Fuck Jersey, the house im in is so baller but this state just cannot win.
Don't be a smartass. I'm trying to fuck a guy who's sober. It's more difficult than you think.
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
The really sad thing is that I actually practiced crawling in my room yesterday in preparation for today
Our house almost burnt down last night. I woke up at 4:10am to the smoke alarm going off bc the bean bag chair was on fire so i extinguished it and smoked a bowl at 4:20 to celebrate my fire extinguishing abilities
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
The notification you get from snapchat that someone took a screenie is like a formal declaration of blackmail.
Indeed. If boner pill commercials have taught us anything, it's the importance of waiting until the moment is right.
Where else would I get life advice?
I'm in the smoking section between a transvestite molly dealer and a group of juggalos. I shouldn't be that hard to find.
Woke up in a fanny pack with a bag of cocaine on my cheek
Someone needs to get Mark off the roof. I told you that he doesn’t shut up about ancient Egypt if you give him henny.
I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
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