it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
Please stop sending me picture messages of your shit. Seriously. I don't care if it looks like popcorn chicken.
Been considering the feasibility of adopting a kangaroo. Yes I'm very serious. And yes I'm very high.
ATTN: We are officially 15 weeks from our annual "Get-Mega-Stoned-and-BBQ" event. Start saving up the proper supplies. That is all.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't think the best pickup line was. Hey I have never made a girl orgasm before but I'm sure it will work on someone like you.
I guess crabs is what I get for sleeping with my ex.
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
This doesn't mean I'm going to attempt to find happiness with smooshy dick
If there's one thing I learned yesterday, it's that if I really wanted to I could be mayor of Toronto.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
Finding out you're not a mother on Mother's Day >>>
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
All my female reproductive organs were screaming HELL YES last night.
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
Well, I hope you're having fun. I'm just gonna lay here and wait for death - shouldn't be long now.
Randomize