My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
She told you broke her computer after the little square in tetris wouldn't rotate for you...
Banging your ex-girlfriends best friend 3 days after you break up is like saying "fuck you" with feeling. I wouldnt have it any other way.
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
please hold off on going into labor, i might need you to take me to the free clinic
I put the condom across her upper lip. It was like a mustache of a job well done.
It was like bizarre-o star trek. I shamefully went where every man has gone before.
It was fine until he came back to my place, grabbed a beer, HIGH-FIVED me, and left.
I fucking, woke up on a couch with a towel as a blanket to someones lion king ringtone.
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
I have a gay crossdressing neighbor that's dresses up as a slutty pirate. 6 beers from now I would have hit on him. I hate halloween.
I partied with 2 slutty ninja turtles from Sweden last night, I Love Halloween.
I need to start a penis folder so I stop "accidentally" showing people my junk. On a side note- St. Pattys penis was a hit, four leaf clover and all.
He told me he was my brother roommate in college after we fucked, but already knew that so I had pretend I didn't know that.. like how I pretended I finished. 2/10
My dad called me in the middle of the night, drunk on vodka, asking for references on the Irish alphabet.
Randomize
