White wifebeaters are like orgies with fat people. Enjoyable in private, i'm sure, but in public: no thanksss.
saw him outside... he got fatter, i got blonder. the winner is obvious.
Brutally Honest is my real middle name, Princess just sounds better.
I submitted an essay to my history teacher comparing changes in the middle ages to the song changes by David Bowie. I can't wait to see my grade on that.
in the morning i found her name, number and address on one of the empty pizza boxes. also said "ps. if you find my shoes please mail to me."
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
She just referred to her vagina as "this bitch".
we're almost there. Shes pounding on the car window telling the nurse whos on a smoke break to fuck off.
Would it be considered cannibalistic if I wanted to eat off his bacon tattoo?
I'm just gonna stay I'm bed where it is warm and cozy and nobody knows me as the girl that puked on a stripper
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
I'm studying. And by studying I mean I am laying on my floor drinking boones farm alone. Last two weeks. Fuck it.
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
I just learned in class that female whales slap their fins against the water and then ten males come and fight for her yet we can't get guys to text us back
There's even glitter on my cock...
Randomize
