sometimes i wish i could just stick a turkey baster up there and suck out the blood
Still drunk and leading the team through the 9am sales meeting. I'm pretty sure this is why there aren't more 26year-olds in management.
Dude. Muppets take manhattan on netflix instant. Pass my midterm or relive my childhood? Tough decision.
I don't give a shit about soccer but I'm really excited about drinking at 7 in the morning
I need a $60 an hour job, because I have a $50 an hour drinking habit.
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
Let us do this. Tomorrow night is thirsty Thursday. Let us drink whiskey from the bottle and have men in plastic gloves inscribe permanent images of each others faces onto our buttocks.
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
So this is completely apropos of nothing, but I have a feeling that a friend of mine might be a good match for you. Can I set you two up on a date? Oh, and it seems that we live a block away from each other and aren't having sexy times. This is ridiculous. By the way, there's a chance that I might be a tad drunk. Still though, there's a very *good* chance that you and Mr. X would get along.
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
Some girl is sitting topless in the kitchen and having a Skype video chat with some guy. I already like it here.
We just broke up and deleting his dick pics is the hardest thing I've ever had to do.
That was fun and all, but let's never have sex on a ladder ever again.
Randomize
