At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
He wants to call Lloyd's of London and have my mouth insured.
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
I guess crabs is what I get for sleeping with my ex.
Haha he's lucky I don't kick him back into the land of the majestic handjobs
I cut myself stripping on your car. Probably a profession I shouldn't pursue
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
I don't question myself. That's what I have you for.
I'm honored.
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
Why is this not the first time I’ve seen the mugshot of someone I’ve slept with
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
Blunts beyotch
What? Joints? Blunts?
I'll refer you to my previous text: "Blunts beyotch"
I smell Vodka. It's me. If anyone asks it's totally hand sanitizer.
i can feel my liver failing just LOOKING at that thing
Randomize
