is your mom at the bar?
How drunk are you??
I'm flawless.
hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
it would be cheaper just to buy a dildo to intimidate people with.
My stepdad and I just tag-team hit on a server at McDonald's. This is the man I should have grown up with.
Just showered now I smell like berries instead of shame
I'm bringing Sergeant Single Slut out this weekend. I hope you're ready for her.
Only Jon could get an entire commuter train to chant "Ride! Jon! Home!" to get a girl in bed.
She was trying to drink out of the beer bong and she thought it didn't work. Little did she know there was no beer in there. Then she got mad at us. Girls.
She pinched my nipples out of nowhere as I was about to come... I think I found god
Thinking of someone think of me while masturbating while I masturbate. & that's how the over thinkers do it ✌️
He walked in on me masturbating and on my phone but got mad because I wasn't watching porn just tweeting
Randomize
