Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
Is it wrong that I want to take the baby bump in her facebook pictures as "meal-ticket"?
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
I'm putting "buy a bottle of scotch" on my "productive things to do to procrastinate studying for finals" list
Well pretty sure I lost 3 of my best friends in one week. Remember when I said I wasn't sure if I was gonna be a better person or a more despicable one in 2012. Despicable wins.
Never backflip into an above ground pool. I think the gash will be smaller by Monday though.
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
Just pulled a muscle trying to take a naked pic. I think it's time to start working out again.
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
I forgot to pack a bra for work today...you would not believe the extremes i've had to go through in order to keep these nips from my coworkers
Wait do we still get bagels if no one got laid
I know it doesn't seem right, but sometimes, bagels are just flat out called for.
Ooo, yeah! Thanksgiving will be a blast. Can't fuckin wait for the next round of "have you found a nice young man yet?" Followed by a lovely helping of "don't worry, there's someone out there for you."
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
Why would you get kicked out?
Well, an overweight man is currently not wearing a shirt. Or pants. And is getting in touch with his inner Chippendale. You can probably fill in the blanks.
then he said the sex was mediocre and that it was because of me. and that we could try again tomorrow.
it was 100% mediocre because of him, and we will 100% not be trying again tomorrow.
Randomize
