this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
and she's shaped like a lego person so that's not happening
i looked at dads computer and apparently he was looking at job ads on craigslist and the only one clicked that turned purple said "GET PAID TO MASTURBATE"
Just met a guy who has been in college for 7 years and still classified as a junior. Then watched him shotgun 10 beers. Found my new hero
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
Please tell me what happened last night... specifically who told me it was a good idea to pee in my shoe.
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
He was the only guy who ever made me cry..
Who, the park ranger who made you dump out your beer on the beach?
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
This Pinterest wedding planning is a good distraction. I'm great at this, my imaginary wedding is beautiful
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
Wow two curved penises in one weekend. I feel like this may be good luck. Like finding a four leaf clover
I woke up to him crying and pouring pixy stix in my mouth saying they would bring me back to life.
Randomize
