so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
So random guy from last night came over tonight. I told myself I wasn't going to sleep with him but he had some killer dirty talk and a big penis in his arsenal...what was I supposed to do? Supposedly he lost his virginity to his wife and since their divorce a year ago I'm the 1st girl he's slept with, I feel like I just re-took his virginity...I feel like a rockstar.
this is ridiculous... i look like a white version of MC Hammer...
Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
i like how i just referred to his pregnant wife as the "other" melissa and you didn't even judge me.
sitting on the counter. eating honey. crying, because coldplay sounds beautiful on the radio. highhhhh as the sky
How are YOU going to look? Buying 40's on Christmas eve.
all I wanna do is swim in an Olympic sized pool of Gatorade and tylenol.
Look, I'm just saying... paying ur respects to the neighbors who had a death in the family with food u steal from the neighbors having the cookout may result in a negative karma situation.
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
I'm ordering sushi and crying over finals. Come over and bring wine.
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
The bar brought brought it upon themselves, they played billy joels piano man before closing, it's not our fault the bar isn't a bar anymore, right?
That guy u hooked me up with kept calling me james while were doing it...
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