She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
Come here. I'm drunk. Family Function. Intense Pro-life vs. Pro-choice debate. Bring Republicans.
I remember saying "sorry" to the blunt before throwing it out the window
he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They ran out of vodka so we started doing Body Doritos.
I just had to explain to my 62 year old advisor what "tea-bagging" was in the middle of her lecture. I smell extra credit. And maybe a demonstration.
Hate is such a strong word! I prefer to think that you strongly dislike me due to the honesty I show towards your routine shortcomings of success in life.
We were playing hot potato with real potatoes at 3am
Well sundance is in town and Im going to use my one and only shot to bang Taylor swift... Does it count as a random if shes famous?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He won't let me go to the bars unless I can manage to get flip flops on.
Sounds like he's doing this for your own good...
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
I mean, as I was vomiting in front of a giant crucifix I became acutely aware of my poor choices
I may or may not have tried to give myself a lobotomy
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
That man makes my giblets tingle
Congrats? I think?
Randomize