He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
The nurse who basically saved my life just came into the store. Didn't recognize her. Awwwwkward.
I really gotta be careful. My email inbox is equal parts notifications from instructors and this dude's dick. If I get drunk and reply to the wrong thing I might get kicked out of grad school.
THIS ISN'T WORKING THIS IS THE DRUNK LEADING THE DRUNK
The best revenge is living well. Or pooping in his sunroof. Either or
Gonna open a taco bell in colorado. Millions bro.
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
damnit. I just found my cousin on tinder.
When I go out tonight I need to make sure to be really good. The Easter bunny doesn't deliver to jail
30% sure Kevin and I just adopted a cat. Talk to me when the sun's up but I really feel like that's a thing.
I need to get all the one night tinders in my system before I move back in with my parents
I'm worried my dog collar isn't going to come in time. I might be trying on dog collars at PetSmart next week. That could get awkward.
I'm laying in my bed in the fetal position with a bag of frozen peas on my head and the bathroom trashcan next to me. Fucking tequila.
Just because you got dumped by some loser doeant mean you need Jesus. It just means you need better friends and some booze
The hangover struggle is to real, just passed the drive thru window. Twice.
Randomize
