I woke up and my panties were thumbtacked to his wall. Out of my reach.
Picking up third year law school girls is like MILF hunting for beginners
Is it because I queefed?
On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
Turns out vomit takes off spray tan.
Just realized the fur coat I am wearing to the wedding is the one I had sex with the groom in
I'm pretty sure I just had a convo with my hot pockets about how they weren't good enough for the oven.
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
Now I'm ashamed that I wore a bra
The cop said he like my hair today. Please explain all other interactions with law enforcement, k thanks
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.
You know, this is NOT how I pictured my life would be when I was younger, and yet here we are.
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
He made me spaghetti, gave me wine and I fucked him on the floor, Is that a fair trade of services to you?
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
Randomize
