I just feng shui'd our living room furniture. You may be mad in the morning
I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
Why does Thanksgiving make hot girls feel disgusting and fat girls feel horny? Its killing my prospects.
there's a liquor store near my therapist
i might give it a shot.
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
And regarding bottomless mimosas stopping at 1 pm, there was a chick who drove her car into the back of the bar. Blame that bitch, not you peeing in the koi pond.
American Eric just peed on us from the second floor. Hes now very confused as to why his "toilet is yelling." Send help.
he can get married early and ruin his life but he sure as hell isn't ruining mine with a shitty bachelor party
Note to self don't stop having sex during an earthquake! I call it a 6.1 orgasm!
I think you should do the fixer upper relationship. Like lawyers do pro bono work with underserved populations, you can do pro bono relationship work.
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
Turns out, the guy I'm casually fucking has a girlfriend who's cheating on him with my sister's boyfriends brother who I fucked last year. And my sex life has now come full circle.
I'm so high I have morphed into the monopoly man. Or maybe the Pringles guy. I don't know but I have a mustach now
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