i love how i spend my mornings exploring my phone to see what i did last night.
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
i told them to call me paula dean as i was making all 10 for $10 boxes of pizza rolls in the microwave
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
He said he wanted to make me his Twinkie, "filled with his delicious cream." ABSOLUTELY 100% NO YOU MAY NOT REPEAT ****NOT**** GIVE HIM MY NUMBER EVER EVER EVER. Please confirm receipt and full comprehension of this message.
My phone broke again .... im not really sure how im going 2 explain the teeth marks to the ppl at the Verizon store
Dude. You stood in a corner laughing your ass off while folding clothes, facing the wall. Yes, they were weed brownies..
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
Try to make ecstasy cheese. Capitalize on the molly and greek yogurt trends. MARKETING
Day drinking! Today! (tomorrow too!) Our place! Whenever you get off work! Ready go!
literally took my pants off in the middle of bourbon last night without taking off my heels im a super human i guess
I love you. Go after that dick
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
I let a 30 year old guitar player that works at a call center go down on me in his backseat last night
Pretty sure he proposed because my house is awesome. His ass is a ten and he's offering to pay more than half the bills... How expensive is a divorce really? I mean I could probably put up with him for three or four years but a lifetime is a big ask.
Randomize
