Just bought purple Ray Bans. If there was any small chance that I would ever have sex with women ever again, I just buried it.
Saw the college gyno today. It has now been medically confirmed that I have a perfect vagina.
Chalk up having sex in a car wash.
they're like a gay fantastic four
It's only 8pm and Karl already got a stripper fired.
Ugh. my cast still smells like fermenting hot tub water and bad decisions.
Drunk me needs to be reminded of my sexual preferences.
at least it wasnt animals
I'm going out w/ her for her b-day in a bit. I just talked to one of her drunk friends on the phone who asked if I could "handle 7 lesbian." This could be interesting.
You're welcome to join, but just to warn you, tequila makes my clothes disappear. And I'm telling you that as an adult to an adult, not as your supervising teacher who decides whether or not you graduate.
I just power puked in the office bathroom.. blew blood vessels in my eyes and now I'm ready for a donut.... success
I think the exact words were 'I'd lett him to the weirdest shit to me'
You have the perkiest tits in all of North America. You're fine.
If you fuck up my birthday by dying I will kick your fucking corpse.
Woke up way too warm in the middle of a spooning sandwich. Was working up a rant about still not wanting a threesome. Then I realized the littlest spoon was the dog. Might need to break up anyway.
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
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