let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
I don't appreciate you drunk dressing passed-out me in spandex for bed
Go to petsmart and tell me if the dog trainer is the guy I slept with friday. Thanks.
he stopped midthrust to put on his sex playlist and the first song was 'can you feel the love tonight'
where do you find these guys?
He's probably hung over. I sure as hell am. I want to pop out my eyeballs with a fork and soak them in cold water
I'm using my breathalyzer result sheet as a coaster for my 40.
She just rubbed her face up and down my six pack cooing. Equal measure of weird and hot.
Meant to have fun, ended up giving speech about consent to guy at bar. Feminist side feels happy. Orgasms side feels confused and betrayed.
These flip flops mean I'm casual, but I'm here to fuck.
About to go make a man out of a 24 year old boy
As I shove my ninth taquito of the day into my mouth...
Picking our battles
And how about the fact that the first time i really truly looked at a guy's dick was in my car. MY CAR. GODDAMNIT!!!
I'm at her wedding and she managed to get every single one night stand I ever had in her wedding party. Why does she hate me?
A good example of deductive reasoning: Knowing that when my girlfriend texts me "I promise not to smoke all your weed!" that she is...at that VERY moment...Smoking All Of My Weed.
Randomize
