I called you to phone bone last night, but you were out with your boring friends playing video games
god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
the number of months ive had a girlfriend in my life divided by the number of blowjobs ive gotten is extremely depressing...
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
We need to pull ourselves out of this slump. We need dick and lots of it. We are going to fuck our way to happiness.
Dude I live in a fucking closet and still get laid every weekend. Figure it out.
Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
There is not greater feeling than lying to your boss and leaving work to shit in the comfort of your own home
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
Banana suit guy has an entourage and they're all douchebags. There is no god.
I feel like it could help stop wars and begin world peace and the continents can unite for one Monday because chicken fries come back today
You know you had a good night when your wearing you best friends pants to work the next day
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