i passed out on the floor in my hallway and woke up with my dog licking himself 2 inches from my face. my first reaction? envy
Eating Doritos is not nearly as enjoyable when I'm not drunkenly feeding them to peacocks.
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
Just so you know my hand is still healing from where you drunkenly clawed me last Saturday
i dont get why youre mad at me. i promised you he looked like jim morrison and you failed to ask me like which era
This is the fourth day in a row I woke up with cheetos spread around me in a ritual pattern..this weed is unreal
not sure when or how we ended up at this wedding party but you need to be here they are handing out screwdrivers and Yamakas to everyone and it's a got damn open bar you need to be here now
I just moonwalked my socks off. THAT LAZY. THAT HIGH.
WE ARE DOOMED.
And not the good kind of doomed. Assuming there is one.
it isn't the robot apocalypse that's for sure
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
So you completely disappeared from my memory last night at about my 15th Jager bomb. But only you. No one else.
Randomize
