I'm glad you talked me out of that flying penis tattoo.
I'm like a new puppy, everybody wants to touch me
it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
its so hard to text. the buttons are tickling my fingers
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
I thought you should know that there is a scientific law stating that when there is booze, people talk about your dick.
I have one of those hangovers where you visualize how awesome it would be to climb in your fridge and drink glacier water
She showed up in lingerie and a turtle backpack full of bacardi. I think its love.
You know it's going to be a good night when you're barking by 8:20.
After a little too much, I decided public urination was a constitutional right.. Nearly got deported for that one
Pizza and koolaid didn't even make me feel better. This hangover means business
I had a dream I got back with Amanda. And then cheated on her the same day. Even my conscious is a dick
I hate csi yet I find myself watching a full marathon. I am also eating hotdog buns stuffed with barbecue chips and they are quite tasty
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
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