woke up and she was making me crepes. definitely not the last time i fuck a culinary student
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
the room spins SO much faster in panama
It was like the perfect storm of bad decisions.
Eating a popsicle in the shower was the best idea I've had in ages.
i need to stop celebrating other people's birthdays like they are m own.. my body can't handle a birthday every week
when my phone is in portrait view you can just assume i've been watching porn. that's the only thing i want to see in full view.
Sally, Your mom and my mom hooked up in college, we must uphold this tradition.
I'm bringing my passport in case we get drunk and wind up in Mexico
My vibrator box just fell off the table and hit my cat in the head, he is a little stunned. Good thing I went medium size
I have need of you to return home with haste, as I require the magical capsules you possess to relieve the posterior pain I am living. I battle this demon with stubborn grit, however I feel that defeat is on the horizon.
I'M OFFICIATING THIS WEDDING. HOLY SHIT.
You know it's a pretty bad night when an injured penis is not the worst thing that happened to you. Fuck tequila
Step one: We finally agreed on an au pair that we both wanna fuck.
I’m excited to finally meet my stalkee and his penis!
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