I just made out with a guy for $7.
Dude im not sure whos apartment i woke up in but i just showered here and their shampoo in phenomenal
Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
I can't believe all I ate yesterday was half a turkey sandwich and 20 finger licks of exctasy.
debating whether or not to save the package from my first plan b pill. it would be a nice addition to any baby book.
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
Edward fifth and chaser hands
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
my throat is bruised, my back is scarred, my vagina feels like it's going to fall off.. you're like godzilla. you destroy everything.
Should probably stop going into the gas station to look for the most normal person to hitch a ride with to drive me to a party
I just love that a strip club has taco Tuesday.
All I'm wearing right now is a condom and a sock.
Just one?
Yup. One sock.
I hope every time you eat hashbrowns you think about me, the awesome sex we had and how great we could have been.
Randomize
