i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
chick im bringing home just asked our cab driver if she could do a line off his turban. i think im in love - or trouble.
He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
I'm going to knit you a pair of furry handcuffs. And you said that knitting class was dumb.
When the tupperware hit the highway it was like a vomit bomb
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
She said I'm so hungry I could eat a dick and winked at me
The Winnie the Pooh costume was great until you got drunk and started yelling at the kids asking for pictures.
Thank you for deleting me from Instagram. Also, I'm carrying your child. Happy new year!
So I definitely tried to pay a cab with baseball tickets last night
I caught myself caressing my own hand while nurturing a glass of bourbon. I think it's time to get back out there.
Ugh im hungover from last night, and to top it all off, I think someone jacked my laptop.
umm ya, so we found it in the oven wrapped in a pillow case this morning
You some how ended up sleeping on one of the beams that run along the ceiling of your house
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
Randomize
