I just blew up the bathroom at work and now I feel like a new woman
is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
Pillow talk just revealed that he originally thought I was 16.
Showering in my swimsuit in hopes of getting the beer smell out.
Just came out of my room at 8 AM to find 2 pounds of raw hamburger and a half eaten cake strewn across the hallway. And I'm not surprised at all.
My sister hid me from my parents, brought me a bloody mary, and told my girlfriend I was out with my dad. For 13, I got to say she's working out pretty good.
That awkward moment when you can't tell what smells like tacos: you, the cat, or the strange guys blanket your so tenderly swaddled in.
"just because you look like a short version of scarlet johanson does not mean I would immediately fuck you" that was the single.most difficult thing to say. but seriously I don't want the roots of the whore tree anywhere near my junk.
Is it a bad thing that I'm trimming my nose hairs in anticipation for the 8ball to be delivered?
I just love it. It's warm and soft and the rest of the world is so mean. My bed would never be mean to me
my ex's current girlfriend held my hair as I threw up. new low.
So I have been told that I licked your eyebrows last night
I should probably eat a Plan B. Pill for breakfast. Happy Halloween.
Also my roomates are going to be gone till sunday. Make correct decision here
Quit calling your parents your roomates
You cannot ask her to resend the picture of her genital tattoo to you just so you can show your room mate. it is time to end your relationship with the Captain.
Randomize
