Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
If I die today, promise to let the world know I partied.... oh god did I party
I like to think that tonight was Jesus punishing James Cameron for his role in popularizing "My Heart Will Go On."
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
I may still return these pants. Depends how much they smell like alcohol by tmrw morning. I've already spilled once.
There's a lady here with a big bag of dildos. I'm not sure that's appropriate bar baggage but, I like her style
He showed up at my door at 3 AM wearing a Santa hat with a tiara attached.
I'm hoping you were seen by someone holding a frozen turkey at 230 in the morning
One of the worst parts about living at my parents again is trying to hide how often I'm hungover, just quietly puked in the basement bathroom while my mom got ready for work
Pretty sure we're going to get a cease & desist notice from the Make A Wish Foundation, but until then...
Shooting a bottle rocket from my penis was entirely justified. Twenty bucks is twenty buck no matter how you look at it
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
Vodka, MiraLAX and Gatorade are perfect for the night before a colonoscopy
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
Cmon. I wasn't that bad.
You stumbled ass first into the litter box, and everytime we tried to get you to move you said " if I fits. I sits."
Randomize
