Whoa Z and x make the same sound
kevin brought a 6ft brunette runway model with him tonight. Now, im not sure what the fuck the color of the " i get it, its over, Im ugly" flag is.... but i'll wave it.
Is it a bad that I spent my 5 year anniversary with my husband texting my ex boyfriend?
believe me... letting the man that delivered you from your mother's vagina do shots off your stomach is really fucking awkward.
advice for life: when the cop takes your tallboy, don't ask for your coozy back
The usual. Woke up on a dog bed with peeps and $11.
i'll just tell him I slept with them both because we needed to compare notes
Ima go for a jog. and I'm going to jog until I throw up a lung. then I'll crawl home.
Is percocet and coffee considered a balanced breakfast?
Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
It's always a good night until the penis tattoo makes an appearance
I'm never celebrating Galentine's Day again. It was a whorrific mess.
I'm all about clean living these days
You started your day with fried chicken and a bloody
... after you woke up in your own urine
I woke up in nothing but my socks and my hat a cigarette in my mouth and a beer in my hand..........GREAT NEW YEARS
Randomize
