please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
I can't decide if the sex was so good I couldn't move, or if it was me being loaded on all the morphine that they shot me up with at the ER.
Well duh, alcohol and getting fucked up are the world's common languages.
Our neighbors just passed us a blunt from their deck, and are hooking us up.
I just baked them cookies. We're friends now.
He bought me a oreo ice cream cake with "thanks for not calling the cops!" written in icing. If that doesn't sum up winter break, I don't know what does.
Being at this stripclub only reinforces how single I am. And I was *just* becoming okay with that.
I want you to know that the guy who peed in your bed got fat.
I just connected with one of your drug dealers on LinkedIn.
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
I just forgot I was standing up.
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
Probably shouldn't be looking at memes at my grandmother's funeral
Honestly, you can’t tell the whole sorority he has a donkey dick and expect that no one would sleep with him after you broke up
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
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