Our house smells like week old pizza, beer cans, cigarettes, and depressing career tracks....get lysol.
Dude I just heard my boss singing from the bathroom "I love making poop"
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
I ended up in a shower with 9 people and a bunch of unopened beer last night. I think I got peed on. Hands were everywhere. We sold the peed on beer to people knocking on the hotel room door.
Wow, now I'm sad I didn't go.
I knew it would be an interesting night when he showed up at my house on a scooter wearing a six foot american flag as a cape.
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
My roommate is watching gummy bears "race" from a mega-marshmallow to his lava lamp.
Then he unzipped his pants and whispers, " oohhh, look out!"
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
I just realized now that I slept with him while he was still wearing the maid costume... I've reached a new level of sexual freakness.
Just told my dad about my heroic mailbox showdown. He looked at me strange. I think he thinks I'm high.
You are high.
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