I need to stop coming to work sober
Should I shave my pubes in the shape of a top hat so I can nickname my junk Abe Lincoln?
quitting drinking is the number 5 new years resolution but number 4 is enjoying life more which one do you think im going to pick
Vodka is such a love hate relationship.
Truer words have never been spoken.
wait a second. did i just remember you the other night referring to your tits as tia and tamara.....
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
he made a joke about you fucking his daughter...i think youre golden
After doing lines off my chest, she said, "do you even know how fast I could suck your cock right now?!!" and her friend said, "yea she totally could".
got delayed, meet you at the bar soon, found a shopping cart, i am now getting pushed to the bar by some guy that was peeing in the alley i found the cart in
Juss got out of jail; shes still in there tryin to sing her abc's backwards bc the cops neva asked her too... Whebever she gets to t she starts singin the tequilla song
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
Also CANADIAN LIPS TASTE OF MAPLE SYRUP AND APOLOGIES. SORRY.
all i know is there's a picture on my phone of him wearing my purple sweatpants and licking the bottom of my foot.
I just plagiarized Dr. Curtis Connor's ideology from Spider-man in an essay on genetically engineered embryos. College: academic integrity at its finest.
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
Randomize
