Firetruck pulls up, fireman jumps out n knocks on my door, asks "do you know where Johnny lives?"
One of my students just said I have "big mommy parts". Even third graders know that my tits are too big. God I love em.
Can we please just celebrate being alive this far into the school year and just get drunk?
I found out that my first kiss was an Italian. Even in kindergarden i knew size mattered.
we bribed her with croutons and jello shots.
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
We are going to be Siegfried and Roy for Halloween and you are going to be the tiger.
She kept crying and asking why I couldn't look more like Dennis quaid.
What's sign language for "you may not be the father?" Kinda important right now.
Am I really that high, or did I just spray febreeze outside ?
In my defense, I haven't stolen anyone's clothes yet.
Yeah, that's a plus.
It's the happiest looking penis I've ever seen. It should have a top hat and a spectacle on and soft shoe across the room with a cane. He's a cheery little feller.
I mentioned the porn thing he mentioned a brother it all kinda just came together
shut up and let me use my vagina as a weapon of self destruction in peace!
Fuck my life he IS a stripper, Ive been sleeping with a stripper named Phoenix. damnit, I knew the sex was too good
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