what time did you get home last night?
SO late...when your in the lap of a 35 year old superstar you loose track of time
He said to me " i could be your father but i dont care"...it was so hott
I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
She left me with blue balls so I jerked off on her french toast in the morning.
in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
You'd think after all these years of evolution that it would be longer than a golf pencil.
were doing shots for every snowflake that hits the ground
i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
MEET ME OUTSIDE YOUR HOUSE IN THREE MINUTES. BE DRUNK. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Their engagement party consisted of them doing shots, yelling at each other, leaving for 30 minutes, and coming back with smiles.
I'd say they're off to a great start!
when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
Look. When I let you cum on my tits don't fuck it all up by going "SKEET SKEET SKEET" it just pisses me off.
I saw a spider on my bed and my first reaction was to throw my weed bag to safety
New guy moved in the apartment next door. He's a combat vet, 6'4", Adonis body and going to med school. My vagina is chewing thru the wall as we speak.
I still can't believe a guy pooped in my backyard
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