Buhtt sex?
I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
you kept shouting how the only tree you would hump is an elm tree because they're under populated
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
I just bid on a $9000 car because I think its my ex-girlfriends. Yes I wanna hit that again.
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
She literally just changed his birthday. Overly attached girlfriend has nothing on her.
So I get to my parents and walk in the door so my mom knows I'm safe and alive and my grandpa looks at me and says "were you being someone's bitch". And I about died of laughter
Wow, he seems so solid
DAMMIT Im supposed to be running a company not discussing dick piercings!
I just tried to pay for a coffee with a dollar and a necco wafer.
I put ketchup in a girls hair last night. I need a sorry balloon
We had to go. She called the bartender a thundercunt.
...and that's why girls with IBS don't paint their nails
I tried smoking while wearing a horse mask, it was the worst thing I've ever smelled
so i just realized the reason you didn't answer my call last night is because the remote isn't a phone.
Randomize
