we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
i just heard a guy call his kid "Google" in a way that leads me to believe that's his name. this day couldn't get worse.
today is like waiting for pizza day in elementary school, but with sex added
STOP CALLING ME LADY CHLAMYDIA
I may or may not juuuust be reaching the point where I find some humor from waking up in the parking lot at the standard.
Uhh, there's a legit bruise on my boob.. Again how does he manage this
I'm alone drinking at the bar and the titanic theme song is on. This won't end well.
You're the only person that can successfully use titties and Jesus in the same sentence.
I want to be stormed in. I want to be stuck there. I want to climb a pyramid of strippers to safety
Got high with dad and hunted squirrels in the basement. Is this seriously what my life has come to?
Went outside and he was playing rock paper scissors with a cop over a drunk in public ticket.
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
Did we actually play with swords last night or did I dream that?
None of these texts make sense. except for "step 2.5 equals velociraptor." that i get.
These morning walks of shame have became my morning jogs
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