Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
just found a beer in my hamper. even my laundry is a dirty alcoholic.
Just walked by a group of guys calling out walks of shame with a mega phone from their front porch.
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
How am I suppose to fully love you when you cant even open up and try to fulfill my midget fantasy
my six pack is really starting to show since I started fucking everything that moves
One good thing about being a mom now, I can tell which guys I'm dating were breastfed and which weren't... By the way they latch on to my breast during sex! Kinda kills the mood.
Looked for my lighter in the console and found more tampons. Seriously. You're like a squirrel prepping for a hard winter. A menstruating squirrel.
but it was less of a make out and more of a goodnight kiss as a "thanks for giving our drunk asses a ride home and sorry we called your bar the worst bar in LA"
If I learned anything from that one time I saw the last 10 minutes of oprah when they talked about the secret, it is that you project what you receive back. I also have wine.
Just for future reference. Do not do zumba while stoned out of your mind.
Can't talk, I'm icing "sorry I barfed on your couch" onto a cookie cake
..and by hang out i don't mean fucking then going back home i mean let's get something to eat & watch a movie and fuck sometime in between.
She called and said she was waiting for me naked. I got there and she was in ratty sweats, sitting in Nick's lap, with divorce papers. Needless to say my night was shitty.
Randomize
