It's official, my little sister has hooked up with more girls than I have.
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
she said we were using the spray butter as air freshener
She insisted on fucking on the futon mattress on the floor, answered the phone call from her boyfriend who was on his way to pick her up, and then had the audacity to ask if I was clean
She just told me her legs are numb and that she dedicated her karaoke of ice ice baby to her 4 month old son.
I just peed behind the dumpster and dedicated it to you. Can i call u?
Oh my god I forgot there were Band-Aids on my nipples
dude, i warned you that using a card to pay for my hotel room was a bad idea. You deserve the extra $600 in cleaning fees
It's just one of those days where I'm too horny to function, to be perfectly honest.
I most definitely just found a video on my phone that I accidentally took... You can't see anything and all you can hear is me talking about how good your water was... And then I fed it to you... And used the word "eloquent" to describe it.
I feel like if tampons weren't meant to be microwaved, they'd have a warning on the box, so we should be okay...
wow. there is a man who hates the post office more than me. he is causing a scene, this is a snapshot of elderly me.
My boyfriend's brother just got out of jail and he is already telling us to steal cable. Dude.
I just want to give face wipes a shout out for being there when im too tired or high to wash my face at night
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
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