I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
My last google search last night was 'vodka swimming pool'.
My mom made me write an apology letter to all my family for hijacking the eggnog.
I don't think he understands the importance of corndogs. Or condoms for that matter.
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
I gave his parents a candle as a thanks for letting me hang out there all the time. Which i guess is more accurately a thanks-for-letting-me-fuck-your-son candle
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
The look on the dr's face when she asked me the last time i had sex and i responded "like an hour and a half ago" ... priceless
We are finally out of the honeymoon stage of the relationship because it turns out that you can't come back from peeing on me in your sleep.
He wants Portugal to lose so badly he threw out all the sangria. You know how depressing it is to watch someone dump 4 gallons of heaven?
you can't let guys come on your chest and then hog my blanket
I rewired his car so that every time he hits the gas the horn and the OnStar turn on every time he hits the brake the panic alarm goes off.
I talked to his mom for a good 10 minutes with coke all over my nose. Not the best first impression
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