she was so not down for the gang bang
Totally just grabbed the wrong dick. Damn this tequila.
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
We decided to cut you off after you insisted on eating peanuts by the dumpster
nothing says 'im willing to leave my comfort zone for you' like letting you choke me during sex
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
Her dad high fived me on the way out the door. Not the reaction i expected after she came so loud.
I got kicked out of the bar for suggesting that the bartender drop her tits into my Redbull instead of the usual liquor
He tried to tell me that he could handle his liquor better than "all the bitches in this town." AS HE THREW UP. ALL. OVER.
Only you could successfully troll for dick at a Hillel bake sale.
Anddon't worry about me I have my Darth Vader flashlight
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
The only good thing about 2020 is that the hot flight attendant neighbors are using my pool a lot. If i can keep them from wandering into my Zoom meeting with my boss I’m golden
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