It's impossible to flirt with the bank tellers because they see how broke I am.
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
She looked at it and said "your dick is like the golden gate bridge."
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
I JUST WANT TO HAVE MILDLY SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE SEX WITH HIM AND CALL HIM CUPCAKE.
his brother walked in while we were fucking on the couch, told me i had "lovely jugs" and offered to make both of us a drink
you really need to remember next time not to write your name and phone number on the paper its wrapped in.
But what if it got lost?
its illegal. you dont want people to contact you if they find it.
Just caught myself checking an online porn site while in a strip club. Might have a problem.
Taco Bell is giving high school kids free tacos STEAL YOUR BROTHER'S WALLET I'LL BRING THE WEED.
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
I'm hungover and eating lunch at an elementary school. The children are barking. Litrealy barking, like dogs.
Are you texting me while pooping again?
I'm also playing fetch with the dog
I just found a contact in my phone named "Nick from The Party". Who's nick?
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
Randomize
