How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
ugly people sure do ruin things
Day 3. Will have to postpone job hunting by a month. May have blown out my knee. Was sunburned on Friday. Now look painted red. Still alive. All worth it.
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
I think it says something about my life when I start picking up girls while im in rehab. And I don't think it's good.
Nothing like pulling a bottle of vodka out of your purse at 7am in the security line to make your fellow passengers uncomfortable...
I knew from the second he called his penis glorious that I was meant to sleep with him
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
Have you ever come so hard that right after you have the urge to yell "make me a sandwich!"? ...I think my ovaries turned into testicles.
So the dog chewed my vibrator last night. It added a nice new texture actually.
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
Yeahh. im on the phone with him drunk. he told me he found a pigeon in a cardboard box and named it quincy...
I don’t care if there’s a pandemic. My husband gave me a hall pass for my 40th birthday and I’m going to use it!
Can I send you a random dick pic? It's got a lightsaber tattoo
Randomize
