I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
she said, and i quote, "i want to black out with my rack out"
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
230 lb girl across the train from me is giving a dude in a kilt a handjob while he sits in her lap
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
It feels like one of my ribs evaporated.
I'm pretty sure I got a cavity today due to how many times I've puked hungover at work.
It's like hey here is one penis enjoy nothing but that for the rest of your life
I just pictured ballsacks being shoveled into the furnace of the Titanic.
I just used "et al" in a sext. I thought you'd be proud
I have seriously seen way too may DIY cut off jean booty shorts and half shirts on fat girls this summer. Fuck you Pinterest.
Woke up at noon, still drunk, naked, with another girl next to me. When she wakes up, I'm gonna have my SECOND lesbian experience with her. How's your 2015 going?
THE SUPER HOT BARTENDER WHO LOOKS LIKE RYAN GOSLING JUST WALKED IN. BUT HE DOESNT EVEN WALK HE GLIDES. LIKE AN ANGEL.
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
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