Im glad youre not pregnant with that New Jersey assholes baby. Your vagina would have smelled worse than Newark.
woke up with 15 BAGS of hot dog buns in my passenger seat... jameson strikes again
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont.
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
i feel this outfit says i'm better than you, but i might give you a handjob behind a building
What's the protocol on showing a video of me sucking the life out of my ex in order to prove beyond a doubt that I give great head???
I feel like butter and tequila would be excellent combination. Right now. Please do this in my name.
I feel like when purchasing hard liquor on a Monday I also need to buy a happy 21st bday card to not seem so pathetic
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
What's the procedure for answering a booty call from someone under house arrest?
Oh and yeah that does count as public urination.
Found another bruise from Saturday #stopliquor2014
You're acting like you didn't chug fireball, like duh you have bruises you drunk betch
I used the phrase "love child of quasimodo and cyclops " in a sentence today.
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
Randomize
