then she made me sanitize my hands before fingering her...i may have found my soulmate
he told me I talked like a deaf person
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
You were peeing on yourself thinking it was the sprinkler in your yard
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im that hungover where parking at red lights has to be done
I wore a bird inflatable and still got laid. So there's that.
Halfway through she said I was exactly like she imagined. So many things have been stroked this night.
You're the only one to love me enough for me to admit the following: Rock-bottom sounds like sobbing to a Miley Cyrus song.
Dude you better come get your girl, she's sitting here eating a tub of pasta salad muttering to herself about gypsies.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My actions are not mine. They are the actions of Patron.
Man, coughing on your period is like the biggest gamble a girl can make.
I COULD CUT A FUCKING DIAMOND WITH MY RIGHT NIPPLE RIGHT NOW HOLY FUCK
It's almost 5am and all I can keep thinking is IT'S WHISKEY TIME!!
im having flashbacks to my time in a waffle cult composed of 9 to 14 year olds
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
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