R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
I'm naming my child veloci raptor. And you can be a part of its life if you want. But that's its name. Cause i have the vagina.
Dude, she literally just asked me if her mac'n'cheese makes me horny. I think I found the one.
Quick question: how long can sperm live in a rug?
You dislocated his arm and then bought him two shots to numb the pain while you pushed it back in
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
I just invented spray cheese vodka. tastes real nasty but does the trick.
I come back upstairs and there he was sitting in a speedo. He handed me a blanket and said "let's cuddle" how is this real life?
Dude. It's not even nine. I don't know yet.
Drink number four. Don't even tell me about its not even nine
She mentions her boyfriend one more time, I'm taking her home and breaking that shit up.
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
He asked me the next morning if he fell asleep inside of me. Drunk is an understatement.
He's coming over again? GIRL, you're thoroughly enjoying the month of Dicktember.
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
Randomize
