talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex.
Is it bad that I had sex with another guy on my boyfriend's bed while he's out of town?
Just flip the mattress, it erases all
Done and done
She always manages to outslut me. I can't keep up
Apparently it's poor taste to ask for a break up blow job...in McDonald's. Also, that's not the best way to break the news either.
I feel like the other woman.
You ARE the other woman.
I'm sexting at the thanksgiving dinner table...this is a new holiday tradition.
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
Just because im a good person doesn't mean that I don't reserve the right to be a complete dick about it.
I just burped smoke on the bus. Hello 6:48am
She bought my penis dinner and beer last night. Her words
Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing.
HEY JUST FOUND A SHIT TON OF MONEY IN THE PURSE HE SENT BRB GONNA GO BUY ME SOME MALE STRIPPERS AND BATHE IN THESE TWENTY DOLLAR BILLS
I want to get a list going called "D list celebs I've kissed"
I woke up with my my shoes on and pants half way off and missing 60 dollars. Please please please tell me you saw me last night.
I wanna get to the point where I can just send a question mark and get an exclamation point in response
Randomize
